What are you doing?

Me: Oh, just trying to figure out how to achieve bliss. Not happiness, but bliss. Which came once to me while doing nothing, meditating… 15 years ago. Ever since than I’ve been trying, to some degree, in achieving that in my waking life. The only person I’ve ever heard talk about it is OSHO – which I discovered way back when I first experienced it, but never read his books – I just had his Zen Tarot Cards. Now I’m starting to read his books. So it’s only a matter of time.

P.S. I can’t help but think that I’ve wasted the past 10-15 years not reading these books before. But than again, I didn’t know about them.

Support Network

Do you have a support network?

I don’t. I use social media every day to try to reach out to people, but no one seems to care. I’ve even gone so far as to download an app specifically for reaching out for help, but all I found were people drowning just like me.

India and Pakistan

Just looking at the stats for my blog and the top 3 countries where viewers are from are Canada, United States, and the United Kingdom; which is not a surprise to me. But the 4th one is India, which is somewhat surprising and delighting to me. I love India! I believe I probably had a past life in India. (Or what is now Pakistan). A little bit of history lesson for ya! (I just did a Google search) HELLO FROM CANADA! Welcome!

Always Depressed

I’m depressed every day. Not nearly every day, every day. And this has been going on for a long time. There are some moments that I feel better, but for the most part I’m depressed. I don’t know why – other than the fact that I’m alone. I’m alone every day and I can’t go outside because of the way that I feel. I want or need someone to reach out to me – to either take me out, or at least talk to me. But for the most part that doesn’t happen. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried reaching out to people, mostly through social media – but it hasn’t worked. This is my attempt yet again to reach out to someone. The thing is, I’ve completely separated myself from people. I really …

Sorry, my neighbour knocked on the door. She gave me some food, which is nice, because I haven’t eaten anything yet. Anyways… I’m not even going to re-read what I wrote above, because it’s probably just depressing and I’ve already forgotten what I’ve written. But if you have any words of wisdom for me, or just a comment that you feel the same way most of the time, it would be very appreciated. This just gives me something to do.

Oh yea, I was going to say that I very rarely go outside. I get my groceries delivered because life is just too mundane and depressing to go to the grocery store by myself. I can’t really remember the people I used to know, minus a few people. So I’m going to try to reconnect with them and try to form a closer relationship with them.

Thank for reading!