Where I’m at

I’ve always WANTED to make music for a living. That’s the problem, I’ve always wanted it, I never took any action to bring the dream to fruition. Or the course of action wasn’t clear enough. Than I met someone who inspired me with their poetry, which made me want to write as well. That was the beginning of my writing journey; but I still can’t write a full song.

The real problem is, I don’t feel very musical anymore. If I was a record, I’d be broken.

And I guess I was never all that musical to begin with. I dabbled in using the keyboard and playing guitar, but I’ve always kind of been a drummer — not the best, apparently, but still better than some.

I guess the reason I’m writing all this is I want to get clearer on my path in life. Should I be a musician? Am I a drummer, guitarist, writer, or none-of-the-above?

For one thing, drums are expensive! You can buy a cheap used guitar for $100-200 (CDN) but to find an electronic drum set (which is what I need because I live in an apartment) in my price range is almost impossible.

I need money!

Than I also need the motivation and inspiration to play.

That’s where I’m at at the moment.
Any thoughts are appreciated!

Thanks for reading!

Feeling Good

I realized something yesterday I think it was and that’s when you lose somebody that you love either through death or the end of a relationship, what you’re really missing is the connection to God/Love that you felt when you were in that relationship. For me personally, I don’t want them back, what I want more than anything is to FEEL that way again. Is that true for you? Let me know in the comments.

I miss ME. I miss the ME that I used to be.
But honestly, it’s been so long that I don’t even know that person anymore. All I can do is look forward.

Desert Wasteland

Does anyone else feel that their life is sort of at a “stalemate”?
Like, nothing is moving. Almost like a desert wasteland.

If I could blame this on the planets, that would be nice.
Or, if I could find someone that feels the same I may feel better {about my situation}

What do you think?

Evening Update

So I wasn’t feeling good, so I took a nap. Ended up sleeping from 5pm to 12am! Now I’m probably gonna be up till like 4am — or just have a horrible sleep all night. Which is not unusual.

So what’s UP other side of the world!??

P.S. The nap didn’t help.

This Afternoon

This may be an “out of the Vortex” blog… but I’m going to post it anyway.

My afternoon has been good. I took a shower and got a haircut! And saw my favorite person that I know! 🙂 And got TWO hugs from them! 🙂 😛

Not so much out of the Vortex, but I’m going to listen to a YouTube video right now that might put me in a bit more! 🙂

Have a good evening!
Thanks for reading!

I guess I will be honest…
The rest of my morning hasn’t been going so well.
I’m alone almost all of the time. (A little background, I don’t have a job. I’ve tried looking.)
A video I watched about loneliness said to “reach out to people” but I have no one to reach out to…
… and no one can change the way I feel but me. Unless they’re a miracle worker.

That is all.
Thanks for reading!