Meditation and Baggage

When I started my spiritual journey, meditation was easy — almost second nature. Now it’s almost impossible. Can it be years of baggage — emotional hardships — that is preventing inner peace (and joy) — I know the answer is yes. But I’m still wondering what is it that I can do to help myself feel better? Should I continue to try to mediate, even though I can’t. Should I just continue on trying to enjoy life, even though it’s hard. I don’t know.

Moving

I’ve wanted to move for a very long time. So long, in fact, that I stopped wanting and just accepted the fact that I can’t. There was a point where I actually tried. I actively looked into it. The problem is, I’m on Ontario Disability, which means I can’t leave the province for more than 30 days, I believe. So I looked into getting on B.C. Disability, but it takes about 6 months to get on it. And you have to be a resident of the province before you can apply. I can’t live out there for 6 months with no income. I suppose I could secure a job out there before I move, somehow. Or, apply for Income Assistance, if I’m eligible. But at this point in my life, feeling better is my top priority, and I know that moving will not make me feel any better.