Thoughts

Really Lonely

Ok, what can I write that’s not depressing? I don’t know. lol!

It’s 1am right now. I don’t feel like sleeping. I’m up listening to music…
If you have any music recommendations, I am somewhat willing to listen to them.
I’m on YouNow right now (http://www.younow.com/lifedreamradio) broadcasting what I’m listening to again.
I’m actually trying to find some sad songs, because that’s how I feel, and I need music to match how I feel. A song recommendation, “Epiphany” by Staind; which I will post below.
This song is good for right now. It’s sullen (?) and relaxing. Now I just need to write or do something creative…

I’m literally dying for social connection.

Rant · Thoughts

Music and Rant

Just a tiny little bored “rant” I guess. I don’t know if this is a rant or not, or me just spewing my guts.

So I use a lot of online services like YouNow and Discord to chat with people, to cure my loneliness. But it doesn’t quite work. I haven’t formed any long lasting or close relationships through it. There was one person I “reached out” to, but she didn’t get back to me. I’m tired of feeling alone. I say “feeling,” and not “being,” because I’m not alone, I just feel alone. It’s like the song “Something’s Missing” by John Mayer, that I’m listening to now. I’ll link it below, if you haven’t heard it before.

This is somewhat nice, writing this blog… it gives me something to do, alone… listening to music, without needing anybody there. But I think most of the time I’m striving for attention. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not, but it’s what I need, I think.

John Mayer has some pretty good songs. The next song on the album I’m listening to is “New Deep.” You should check it out! I’ll link it below as well!

I’m on YouNow right now broadcasting what I’m listening to, and people just pop in and leave really quickly. It’s a little disconcerting.

I guess I could check out someone that’s online right now. See what’s up. Post this. And probably come back to it later. I enjoy writing.

Thanks for reading!

Thoughts

Bored.

I’m feeling pretty alright tonight.
Or at least I’m trying to keep it up.
It’s 9pm… and I don’t want to go to sleep until about 10 or 11pm.

So I’m just trying to stay awake and keep busy.
What are you doing? Oh, reading this. =P

I’m trying to deeply relax and just let things happen.
But things aren’t exactly the way I would like them to be…
And it’s really hard to just “Let it Be” (to put it in the words of The Beatles)
But I’m trying!!

So I don’t know who’s going to read this.
I have 53 followers right now. So I guess it will be some of you.
Hmmm… what should I title this? LOL Bored?
I haven’t really said much.
So yea, I guess that’s it. Thanks for reading! And I’ll see you again soon!

Cheers!

Journals

Not Alone

I’m looking through my old journals, and I found this one, from about a year ago.

“The biggest truth that I can think of right now is “You’re not alone.” That means that there are people out there that are going through the same thing that you’re going through. It’s not that you’re not actually alone. Even though you may very well be – but you can reach out if you want to.
I don’t personally want to reach out. Even though it pains me inside. I prefer to hide. But the biggest comfort is knowing that I’m not alone. If I could repeat that to myself – what would that mean? Would it mean that I have the strength to go outside? Would it mean that I would feel OK taking a shower? Would it mean that I would feel happy again? I don’t know. But this I know: I’m not alone.”

 

Thoughts

Little Bones

Ok, so I’ve contacted my friend that I hadn’t talk to in awhile. We talked. It was nice. We’re friends again 🙂 … We’ll see how it goes, I guess.

I also left a message for another friend. He hasn’t gotten back to me yet.
I’m just tired of being alone. I’m always the one to reach out; but almost no one ever reaches out back. The one friend that I’ve had for the past 7 years is the only one that has.

On a different note, it’s 2:32pm. It’s Springtime! The weather is beautiful! I hear music in cars driving by; “Happy hour, happy hour, happy hour is here.” – Little Bones by The Tragically Hip. I took a shower. Everything is good… for now. Although I’m still alone.

Thanks to the new followers!