Not Alone

I’m looking through my old journals, and I found this one, from about a year ago.

“The biggest truth that I can think of right now is “You’re not alone.” That means that there are people out there that are going through the same thing that you’re going through. It’s not that you’re not actually alone. Even though you may very well be – but you can reach out if you want to.
I don’t personally want to reach out. Even though it pains me inside. I prefer to hide. But the biggest comfort is knowing that I’m not alone. If I could repeat that to myself – what would that mean? Would it mean that I have the strength to go outside? Would it mean that I would feel OK taking a shower? Would it mean that I would feel happy again? I don’t know. But this I know: I’m not alone.”

 

Little Bones

Ok, so I’ve contacted my friend that I hadn’t talk to in awhile. We talked. It was nice. We’re friends again 🙂 … We’ll see how it goes, I guess.

I also left a message for another friend. He hasn’t gotten back to me yet.
I’m just tired of being alone. I’m always the one to reach out; but almost no one ever reaches out back. The one friend that I’ve had for the past 7 years is the only one that has.

On a different note, it’s 2:32pm. It’s Springtime! The weather is beautiful! I hear music in cars driving by; “Happy hour, happy hour, happy hour is here.” – Little Bones by The Tragically Hip. I took a shower. Everything is good… for now. Although I’m still alone.

Thanks to the new followers!

Alone

I spend every day alone. Nobody messages me. For the past 7 years I’ve had only ONE close friend. That may have been my first mistake, because not so recently I decided that this person wasn’t a good person to have in my life. Now I’m alone. She still tries to re-connect with me and I still shut her out. I don’t know if this is a good idea or not, because the alternative is to be alone. But when I think back to when she was in my life, it wasn’t good. The question is, was it better than now? Probably. But I don’t know for sure. I guess I should just open my heart again, if that’s the only option I have.

There are a couple other relationships I’ve shut out as well, but I won’t get into them right now.

Thanks for reading!