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Making Music

I’ve wanted to make music, for sure, since I was about 15 years old, when I saw a Sarah McLachlan video of her in her home studio. You have no idea how much music inspired me when I was kid! I’ve dabbled in piano, and guitar, and mostly the drums, but now… being 38 years old and mostly depressed, I feel like I’ve lost the motivation or inspiration.

Thoughts

Really Lonely

Ok, what can I write that’s not depressing? I don’t know. lol!

It’s 1am right now. I don’t feel like sleeping. I’m up listening to music…
If you have any music recommendations, I am somewhat willing to listen to them.
I’m on YouNow right now (http://www.younow.com/lifedreamradio) broadcasting what I’m listening to again.
I’m actually trying to find some sad songs, because that’s how I feel, and I need music to match how I feel. A song recommendation, “Epiphany” by Staind; which I will post below.
This song is good for right now. It’s sullen (?) and relaxing. Now I just need to write or do something creative…

I’m literally dying for social connection.

Rant · Thoughts

Music and Rant

Just a tiny little bored “rant” I guess. I don’t know if this is a rant or not, or me just spewing my guts.

So I use a lot of online services like YouNow and Discord to chat with people, to cure my loneliness. But it doesn’t quite work. I haven’t formed any long lasting or close relationships through it. There was one person I “reached out” to, but she didn’t get back to me. I’m tired of feeling alone. I say “feeling,” and not “being,” because I’m not alone, I just feel alone. It’s like the song “Something’s Missing” by John Mayer, that I’m listening to now. I’ll link it below, if you haven’t heard it before.

This is somewhat nice, writing this blog… it gives me something to do, alone… listening to music, without needing anybody there. But I think most of the time I’m striving for attention. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not, but it’s what I need, I think.

John Mayer has some pretty good songs. The next song on the album I’m listening to is “New Deep.” You should check it out! I’ll link it below as well!

I’m on YouNow right now broadcasting what I’m listening to, and people just pop in and leave really quickly. It’s a little disconcerting.

I guess I could check out someone that’s online right now. See what’s up. Post this. And probably come back to it later. I enjoy writing.

Thanks for reading!

Music

Just Do It

How do you create music?
I had the false assumption that you had to be inspired. That you had to hear some tune in your head, and try to emulate it.
Than I sat down with my guitar and realized, you just have to do it!
That’s what I’m doing now. I’m downloading Fruity Loops right now to see if I can create something with that. I need to create something with layers and drums — so that’s what I’m going to try to do! If you have any tips, let me know!

Thoughts

Where I’m at

I’ve always WANTED to make music for a living. That’s the problem, I’ve always wanted it, I never took any action to bring the dream to fruition. Or the course of action wasn’t clear enough. Than I met someone who inspired me with their poetry, which made me want to write as well. That was the beginning of my writing journey; but I still can’t write a full song.

The real problem is, I don’t feel very musical anymore. If I was a record, I’d be broken.

And I guess I was never all that musical to begin with. I dabbled in using the keyboard and playing guitar, but I’ve always kind of been a drummer — not the best, apparently, but still better than some.

I guess the reason I’m writing all this is I want to get clearer on my path in life. Should I be a musician? Am I a drummer, guitarist, writer, or none-of-the-above?

For one thing, drums are expensive! You can buy a cheap used guitar for $100-200 (CDN) but to find an electronic drum set (which is what I need because I live in an apartment) in my price range is almost impossible.

I need money!

Than I also need the motivation and inspiration to play.

That’s where I’m at at the moment.
Any thoughts are appreciated!

Thanks for reading!