I’m in a really weird space right now.
Ever since I was 13 I’ve wanted to make music.
But after going through what I went through over the past decade or so, things have changed.
I no longer feel the same about music. And I don’t know if I can make music now that I’m willing to try.
It’s a weird space because I’m thinking “NOW what do I do with my life?”
How could I have lived this life having the desires that I have had, and now not be able to fulfill them? My life is empty and void of meaning.
I haven’t had a true desire in years. At least not the same as it was back when I was young.
I hope and wish to get back to that place, of feeling good, etc, etc. But I don’t even know if it’s possible!
I received a suggestion that I should write more about what I like than dislike, so here it goes.
I like music, for the most part. My favorite band is Neverending White Lights. I’ve listened to them since 2005. Although now I’m tired of them and don’t have a favorite band. Although Shawn Mendes has a couple good songs. And I’ve been listening… fuck it.
Writing is my therapy, and if you don’t like it, than you can leave. I don’t like much anymore. It’s called depression. You lose interest in shit. You don’t tell someone with cancer, “Oh, well just be well.” No, you don’t. So if you don’t like it, get lost! Yes, most of my posts may be depressing, but some of them are not. If you stick around, maybe you’ll see them. If not, than, get lost! … I could go on, but I won’t. I’m perfect the way I am …
It’s 1:11am. I slept for a bit, sometime before 10:30pm, because that’s when I woke up. I don’t want to go back to sleep, because I have no reason to wake up tomorrow anyway. Sorry if my posts are depressing but it’s how I keep myself going. I used to be very insightful, writing about other people and situations, but now it’s all about what I’m doing or how I’m feeling. That may change, so stick around for that!
Right now I’m listening “Your Discover Weekly” playlist on Spotify. Song link below. And now I guess I’m going to go back to sleep. This may keep me going, who knows. It’s nice to write and “get things off my chest” I guess. Have a good night!