I’m stuck.

It’s sort of like that John Mayer song “Waiting On The World To Change.”

I’m also kind of an agoraphobic. I don’t leave the house. Or maybe I’m just a recluse. Or maybe recluses live in fear of what’s out there too, that’s why they stay inside. I don’t know.

I’m afraid of traffic and I don’t understand why I haven’t been in a car accident yet. It’s just LUCK! And that’s something I choose not to live by… so I stay away from traffic as much as I can.

I want to live on a small island with all the basic necessities with a few friends and live happily ever after. That’s too come.

Until then…

(I’m going to try to write more in another post)

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

I think I just Astral Travelled. I was swept away by this demonic force, outside the planet into space. There is a lot more out there than there are pictures of. I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it back to earth, so I forced myself awake. I woke up cold and shaking because the heat wasn’t on in my apartment. Still feeling a bit weird, like I was just born, in a way. Like, it’s my first time on the planet. When I first stood up I had to concentrate to walk and now I’m having a bit of difficulty writing. So sorry if their are any typos. I’ll double check lolol Ok we’re good!

Thanks for reading!

This is probably going to be a complainy post, but I have nothing else to do! So, here it goes!

I really need to do something right now, instead of just sitting with my thoughts. It’s painful. So I’m writing. So what did I do today? Not much at all. Just spent the day inside, on my phone, while I waited for an Amazon package to arrive. It came around 2pm, I think. It was a MeLe PC Stick. I’m using it right now to write this. It’s not bad. It’s a little slower in Ghz than my desktop, but that’s OK! I hope so anyway! Because I’m planning on selling my desktop. Anyways… the reason I started writing this post: I feel stuck.

Emotionally. Physical, I’m in the same area of town as I always am. I don’t have a vehicle, so it’s not like I can go anywhere. Unless I take the bus. But I don’t want to catch Covid.

I know so many people are probably feeling just as stuck as I am. Except my mind makes up different reasons for being stuck, I guess, besides Covid. I was stuck even before Covid. I spent 4 months in the hosptial without being able to leave for I think 2 of those months. Maybe 3. Than after that I was sort of agoraphobic, and didn’t leave my apartment for a year, I think. My memory is not that great. Then Covid started, and here we are.

I have nothing else to write about but this – I’m sorry! At least you find it somewhat interesting, since you’ve read this far. But anyways… How do you get unstuck?

A book I’m sort of reading, and have read in the past, would say to stop talking about your problems. Stop telling the same old story. Start telling a new story. Well, I don’t know what story I want to tell. I just want to feel well. Yes I meant to rhyme that. Ideally, all my dreams would have come true, at least by now. Or maybe in the near future. But they haven’t. My dream of being a musician like John Mayer, or Don Henley.

I think I read in another book, by Osho, that all your desires will eventually come true. If that’s true, I guess I just have to wait. Wait for Covid to pass, or as John Mayer would say “Waiting on the World to Change.” Continuum is good album. I’m going to listen to it now I guess.

Thanks for reading! ❤

Today was a little weird. It started off with me feeling stuck. Then my mom messaged and asked if she wanted me to drop by. So she did, and we went to Starbucks and Subway. And then drove down the parkway.

I ended up feeling a little cooped up in the car after awhile though. But it was good, all-in-all.

I stopped myself from talking about negative things, and my mind continued on to other things. It was quite nice.

That is all.

Thanks for reading! ❤

Is it really peace if it can be disturbed?

It’s like saying I love you but then one day say you don’t. Was it really love? I thought love was eternal.

I’m a little tired and a little well rested.
It’s 630am and I’ve already slept.

But I’m thinking: I’m so bored I have nothing to do until 9am or some shit.

But that’s just not true.
I almost never have anything to do.

Depression is hard for me because I’m always trying to think of something that I can DO to make it go away… but there is nothing. Acceptance is key.